Terrified

I'm scared. Pretty frickin terrified. Not quite sure whats going on but I can feel something is off in my gut. The last time I felt this way the outcome wasn't good. Don't know if I'm imagining things or if something is really wrong. I think my feelings are what is really scaring me. Terrified of getting to close, caring too much, giving to much of myself. I know I gotta give it a try and allow my vulnerabilities to show, but its tough. Knowing that failure is a possibility. Knowing I might not get it right, again. And this time I have more to lose. This time I've put more of myself into this. I've made this part of my heart. Part of my being. Maybe what scares me is that I know my heart wants this too much but I might be setting myself up for disappointment. None of this makes sense and there isn't much I can do to work it out. I just gotta pray.