Moved on

I heard your voice in the distance, and my heart sped up. I turned and saw your face, and I stopped breathing for a second. The odd thing is back in the day I'd feel the same way but it would be accompanied by euphoria and butterflies in my stomach, but it didn't feel like that this time. This time the feeling was accompanied by a slight feeling of nausea, anger and animosity. I used to get excited and run into your arms, my whole demeanor would lighten up. But this time I gave you the casual acquaintance hug and a dark cloud blocked my bright mood. And for once, I didn't want you. I didn't yearn for you to stay at my side. I didn't run behind you like your sad lap dog. You're just a part of my past now. And yea, I saw the way you looked at me. I felt the way you tried to hold on to me when we hugged. And I heard you when you told me I looked good. And you know what, I did look good. I probably looked better than you're used to seeing me look. Now that my existence is no longer clouded by you, my soul can shine through. My joy is written on my face. The muddled emotions of love and pain have both subsided. Now I only have joy. The joy of knowing I'm now with someone who cares for me. The joy of never having to doubt how I feel. The joy of letting go of the past and starting anew. The joy you never gave me. But I could see it in your face that you knew. You knew I had already let you go. You knew my heart was now leading me in another direction. I could tell by the defeated swagger in your walk that you knew, for the first time, I wouldn't attempt to follow. And even though you made futile last attempts to resume your hold on my heart, your power over me is now gone. I' m happy now without you. I've moved onto something better for my life. And nothing you do or say will ever make me risk losing what I have now. So, although you shook up my life for a few moments, after you walked away I was able to return to my peaceful existence. I was able to walk around the corner and into his arms. Into the arms of my new joy. After you walked away I finally got my closure and I was able to move on.