Its funny how the all say I'm mean but I feel like I'm too nice. I'm constantly taken advantage of. Used when needed but discarded when not. Shown love when I can do something for you or I'm doing what you want me to do but seen as mean when I decide to stand up and say no. Stepped on on a regular basis and even disrespected when theres no one else to lash out on. Why do I allow myself to be treated like this? Is it because I want to be liked? Is it because I want to have friends? NO. My theory is I'm just too nice. I do to much for people without expecting anything in return. I gve so much of myself I fail to notice the lack of reciprocity. I give love and get misused in return. I give respect and get a blatant disregard of my feelings in return. I go above and bbeyond even to the point of neglecting my well-being, and in return, nothing. I always thought if I was giving a lot of myself, even if it was too much, I'd be ok because the other person would be doing the same for me so we would balance each other out. But I failed to realize that just because I care enough to give my all doesn't mean the other person will to. So whats the solution? I could just stop giving all together, then I couldn't be taken advantage of. Or I could continue to give my all and just go on feeling drained and ill used. Or I could fine the middle ground. I guess the whole treat others the way you want to be treated is a bunch of crap. 'Cause if people treated me the way I treated them I wouldn't be so drained. And if I treated them the way they treated me I'm sure they wouldn't stick around. I guess its just another enigma of life, be nice and get used or be mean and be a bitch.

oh well, i give up.