Do I love you? Yes. Just like I love all people who are close to me. Am I in love with you? I don't know. I guess if I'm not sure if my feelings are that deep then they probably aren't. Right now I don't know what I should do. I'm not quite sure if we want the same thing, and if we don't then should we even be together even if we have fun together? 'Cause although the good times are great, I wonder if there's a point to working through the bad times if there's no hope for a future. Why invest my time and love if there's an impending dead end to where this is going?
I've never asked for forever, never even asked for tomorrow, but if I can't even hope or dream of those things what's the point? Do we even want the same thing? Do we have the same expectations? Or is this just a glorified friendship? I know what I want. I want a strong relationship, built on a strong friendship. I want a companion I can lean on for affection and support. I want a relationship, that although its uncertain, like all things in life, has the potential to grow into forever. I just want to know what to expect. I've been told before at the beginning of a relationship I was not the one, but I chose to continue the relationship anyway even though I knew it was predestined for failure. I got hurt. My heart was shattered and I thought I would never recover. I just want to know if I'm back in the same situation again. Have I already been predestined to fail? If I have I want the choice to opt out in advance. To walk away before what's left of my pieced together heart is demolished.