By your side

Quote of the day: "No matter how strong, proud or sane you are, remember, love will make u weak in the knees, humble your heart, and drive you crazy. So be careful who you give your heart to, they'll have the power to change your soul." -More of my revelations

I finally realized I shouldn't have been there. It wasn't where I needed to be. My mind twisted and turned for a truly sleepless night. I thought being there, I would be ok. Being there, I used to feel safe. But now, when I'm there, I feel out of place. Like it's not where I belong. It's where I always wanted to be. It's where my heart feels it supposed to be. It's where I always thought you wanted me. But something changed. You don't look at me the same when I'm there. You barely even notice I'm still there. But I stayed. Stayed with hopes of "'til death do us part" in my heart. Little did I realize I was already dying. Always thought you would be my life. But it seems you might be the death of me. I'm slowly sipping the poison that is my love for you. I keep telling myself the bitter taste will be worth it in the end 'cause I'll still be there. Not quite sure if you even want me there. So I sit quietly hoping you won't notice me there. Hoping you won't remember you don't want me there. Hoping that in your lapse in remembering my presence I can stay in yours. Undetected, unnoticed, unacknowledged, but still there. But then, I realized, there wasn't where I was supposed to be. It's where I yearn to be. But right now, there isn't for me. I can't be there waiting to be acknowledged. I can't be there waiting to be shown love. I can't be there watching you waste the glory that is you on the undeserving. So, I walked away. Tears in my heart and a cry lodged in my throat, I walked away. Looking back at where I wanted to be. Hoping you'd stop me from going. Bring me back and say "Here is where you're supposed to be." But you let me go. As if there wasn't already reserved for me. As if there could be easily re-occupied. I see it in your eyes that there isn't where you want me to be. And although today I feel my heart breaking, I know, I'd do anything to be there again. To be there and feel like I belong again. To feel like you want me there again. But I'll leave this time. Terrified that someone else will take my place. Knowing to you, I'm easily replaced. I still go. I know I'll be back someday 'cause no matter how many times my heart cries, it will yearn to come back there. It will always bring me there. And I know I'll return. I'll come back and stay for as long as you'll let me. For as long as my heart can stand without breaking. I'll come back because there is where I want to be. There is where I need to be. There is where I'm destined to be. There . . . by your side.